Facing Our Fears

Early on in 2017, God placed on my heart to let go of something very dear to me. Until the Lord called me to let go, I had not realized this something was what my life revolved around. Though the thought of letting go of what I loved and invested so much into seemed frightening at first, I couldn’t help but be excited for the next chapter awaiting us. After all, since we had prayed and were obeying the Lord, He would surely open the next door, right?

As the first month went by, I held onto the belief God had something specifically for us. But then, the second and third month went by. Doubt began to replace faith and fear began to grip my heart. Where is God leading us? Where is God leading me? Does He not remember I obeyed?

During this season of wrestling with God, I was once again confronted with my shallow heart and what I saw was a girl paralyzed by fear. As God began to do a deeper work in me, I had to admit my fears and confess my sense of entitlement. He showed me the demands I had made, and the obsession with control birthed from my insecurities and fears. Through this process, He was teaching me something: Face your fears because that is the only way you can actually overcome them.

So for me, “Year of Yes” means to say yes to facing my fears head on. To say yes to surrendering my insecurities and to kill the fear of not measuring up.

In the past couple of days, God has been pressing Psalm 32 on my heart to hold fast in this season of my life. As I’ve read and meditated through this psalm, I believe God has revealed three ways I can exercise my yes in 2018.

Repent Quickly

Psalm 32: 5 “I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity. I said “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

One thing I’ve learned and hope to practice diligently is when the grace of God reveals my sin to me, I want to repent quickly. Harboring sin can be detrimental because it allows guilt, shame and condemnation to take residency. But in order for us to live by faith, we must look forward towards what is ahead (Phil. 3:13). I know I need to take my sins seriously but I must take the forgiveness extended to me through Christ even more seriously. If not, I will allow the enemy to have a stronghold on my life. Therefore, I am determined to confess it, to cut it off at his head (like David did with Goliath) and move on.

Move Prayerfully

Psalm 32: 6 “Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.”

Rather than prayerfully seeking God when I felt overcome with fear, I often took matters into my own hands. However, one of the greatest characteristics of a man God described as someone “after my own heart,” (Acts 13:22) is his frequency in inquiring of the Lord. There are so many examples where we see David asking God for His thoughts, His ways, and His will. David intentionally chose to live in response to God rather than in reaction to his circumstances.

Show Up Boldly

Psalm 32:7-8 “You are my hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”

In recent months, I have been placed in situations where I felt completely empty: empty of words, of faith, of power, and of love. But it was in those moments that I had to show up and simply say yes by coming as I am. I had to choose to face my fears rather than run away because I knew that if I ran away, I’d have to run away for the rest of my life. So I would close my eyes, cry a little, then say, “I would rather lose my life than waste it!” (Matt. 10:39) It was in those moments that I had to trust that He would preserve me, surround me, and instruct me. Often when you feel like you have nothing to offer, God shows that His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).

I hope that in this new year we can all learn to face our fears so that we can experience the freedom and fullness that is in Christ.