Who are you looking at?

When my boyfriend at the time and I were dating, I tricked him to think I was an athletic girl. Don’t judge! We all have a little something we do to try to win our man over.

So what did I do to impress him with my athleticism? I signed us up for a 10k (6.2 miles) in Agoura Hills.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into. But I had one goal: Woo him, win him, and get him! Nothing was going to stop me! At least that’s what I thought. The first two miles were easy but after that, every step, every hill, every person that passed us by (A lady with two kids in a stroller too) made me question why I signed up to do this foolish thing in the first place. I thought “Out of all the things I could’ve thought of..”

As the race progressed, I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. Happy thoughts were now nonexistent and a flood of excuses began to run through my mind: Maybe a sprained ankle? Hyperventilate from dehydration? Or.. It’s my time of the month? But every time I wanted to quit, I would think of David and tell myself: “Woo him, win him, and get him!” And guess what, I did. #winning

What a dumb illustration but you know, sometimes I think our walk with God can feel like this.

We start off so grateful for the grace that God has extended through His Son Jesus Christ. We burn with passion and with a sense that we owe our lives to Him. And the thought of going back to our old lives sounds absolutely ridiculous. So we have one goal: “Know Him, love Him, and glorify Him.”

But then, as the years go by, things get tough. And you begin to ask: Why am I doing this? Is it even possible? Where am I going? Who am I doing this for? Why is it so hard?

Can I be honest with you? I’ve been there.

So what do I do when I find myself discouraged in this race? I do the same thing I did at Agoura Hills: I remember why I started. I remember why I signed up. And I remind myself of my first confession, “Know Him, love Him, and glorify Him.”

In Hebrews 12:1-2, it says “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

The author of the Book of Hebrews mentions that we are in a spiritual race and that this race should be ran in a particular way: remove everything that hinders and run with endurance. But one of the most essential parts of this race is not merely how you run but where you are looking, or more specifically, to whom you are looking.

Sometimes I notice that discouragements are found in my zeal turned into self obsession in how I want to run this race. But time and time again, God reminds me that it isn’t simply about how I am doing(pace) but where I am looking(vision). Whoam I facing?

It must be Jesus.. Because what you behold is what you’ll become. 

When I want to make every excuse to quit, to take a short cut, and hold hands with compromise (aka sin), I remind myself that it was always about Jesus and always will be about Jesus. And that from the beginning till the end, it will always be about knowing Him, loving Him, and glorifying Him. And when He becomes my vision, my focus, and where I am facing, He breathes courage and perspective back into my soul where everything else becomes dim.

If you are unsure about where you are, how or what you are doing, remember. Remember that our call is not to measure up but to look up at the Author and Perfecter of our faith. And as we gaze upon His beauty, His nature, His personhood and finished work, the Spirit of God will rekindle and sustain whatever needs to receive the touch of God.