Second Trimester of Pregnancy
Yesterday we officially welcomed the third trimester! What. Yup, 28 weeks pregnant and only three more months to go.
I wanted to share about the physical, emotional and relational changes that have occurred during my second trimester (Because, so much has changed). Gone are the days of trying to make my belly look bigger than it is and fitting into my old clothes with a rubber band, and closer are the days of preparing for and welcoming our baby girl. But more importantly, I wanted to share a specific encounter I had with God at church this past Sunday.
Physical Changes
Iron Deficiency
This seems pretty common but once I took my glucose test, the results showed that I had a deficiency in red blood cells. I was advised to simply purchase iron supplements and to take them in addition to my prenatal vitamins during opposite times of the day. Tip: Iron supplements make it difficult to go to the restroom. So I drink fiber therapy every night before I go to bed. Something I actually do with David together!
Leg Swelling and Cramping
During my 19th week, I went to Kona, Hawaii. My entire stay there, my ankles looked like they were non-existent. I am not sure if it was the weather or the elevation but it got worse on the plane ride. With all the fluid flowing to my feet, I had to make sure I was stretching my legs here and there.
During my 27th week, I was a part of a wedding which meant I was on my feet a lot. That morning I woke up at 6am with a massive cramp in my left calf and woke up David to ask him to help me stretch and massage it. Now I look back and think it was pretty funny because I just swung my leg towards him expecting him to do something about it. Hope it doesn’t happen again though!
Peeing While Sneezing (Don’t Judge)
I shared in my previous blog post that I was frequently visiting the restroom. However, I did not think that I would have these “accidents” as often as I had been experiencing. I feel like a grandma.. But I did receive a great tip that has helped me a lot. Tip: Standing, sitting or lying down, make sure you cross your legs before you sneeze! Works wonders.
Increase of Appetite
Starting my 23rd week, my hunger has gone to the next level. There were a few times I would look at David and ask “Are you going to finish that?”
What I eat in a day: For breakfast, I usually have a bowl of oatmeal or cereal and fruit. For lunch and dinner, I generally eat whatever is available. I drink lots of water and I make sure to snack in between meals, whether that may be chips (I finished an entire bag of Banana Kick by myself and had to brush off the crumbs from my chest over our bathroom sink), fruit or sweet potato. I try not to eat anything after dinner unless I genuinely crave it.
Emotional Changes
Pregnancy Hormones (They’re Real)
I haven’t had any major pregnancy symptoms throughout my first trimester which tricked me to think that I may possibly be immune to them. However, I was wrong. One night, I was a bit stressed. When David asked me if I was okay, I began to cry (ugly cry) and said, “I want to go home…” He said, “Home? Like to your parents?” And I replied, “Yeah...” and continued to sob with my head in my pillow. The next day I woke up and thought it was hilarious. It was one rare episode of extreme emotion that we still laugh about now. #poordavid
The next day, I texted some of my fellow mommy friends and asked how real pregnancy hormones were and they synonymously said, “So real.” One of my dear friends said, ”I almost went off on my dad because he ate my donut.” #thebest
I didn’t like the thought of being irrational and losing control, although our body is genuinely going through chemical and hormonal changes. So another friend of mine made it quite simple. She said that pregnancy hormones are simply an extra boost and enhancement of true feelings, whether good or bad. This allowed me to find peace that my body is going through changes while still being responsible for my thoughts and actions.
Relational Changes (With David)
I didn’t think pregnancy would come with a sense of loneliness. The loneliness doesn’t come from it being uncommon but it comes from being the only one who is experiencing it physically. One of the ways that I invited David into the journey was by asking him to ask me “How are you doing?” and “How is the baby doing?” Once I communicated that to him, he would always make sure to check up on me and on the baby which made me feel like he was more involved.
One of my friends told me that there is a limit to how much our husbands can actually understand what we are going through. But she also said one thing that helped me show more grace, “He is experiencing this for the first time, just like you.”
As our baby girl began to kick and move a lot more, David’s excitement to meet her has also been clearly visible. He began to speak to her more often which was odd for the both of us at first and is constantly thinking about how we can decorate her room as he builds and assembles things.
What I Have Come to Appreciate
Mommy Tribe
Pregnancy, at least when it is the first time can feel overwhelming. From studying insurance plans, choosing a breast pump, researching hospitals, learning about breastfeeding, making a baby registry and helping plan your baby shower. To purchasing a crib, stroller, car seat, sound machine to wondering what books to read and classes to take. Being able to glean from the experiences of other moms about these changes, transitions and purchases makes a world of a difference. Not only is it incredible to have their advice but their support is life-giving. The way they cheer you on and share funny and traumatic stories creates a unity and bond that is like no other. It has been refreshing to experience their care and to even come alongside them to cheer them on.
What Has God Been Showing You?
Our Parenting Will Be An Overflow of His Parenting
Second trimester has been so different from the first. Adjusting to change, getting bigger, educating myself and communicating with David has gone to the next level. Fears that I didn’t know were there have definitely surfaced as well.
A couple months back, my side of the family said “애가 애를 낳네” which means “A child is having a child.” And a couple weeks back, I heard someone from David’s side of the family say the exact same words. I wasn’t offended since we are the youngest in our families but something about those words attached itself to my subtle fears.
However, this past Sunday at church, we were singing songs about how we are a child of God. As I borrowed the faith and childlikeness of other believers in the room, I came before God as a child and confessed, “I am a child having a child.” In that moment, I had the confidence to believe that even if I have never done this before and I am becoming a mom, I will always be a child to my Father. And my Father is going to parent me through this new season of motherhood one moment, one step, one chapter, and one season at a time just as He has parented me my whole entire life. Like the time He walked me through our family’s move from the US to South Korea, to leading me to a Christian international school, to sending me to Biola, to healing me from unhealthy relationships, etc. He has never abandoned me to figure it out on my own and I don’t think He has any plans to do that anytime soon.
The past couple of months, I have been meditating on Proverbs 30:7-9, “Two things I ask of you; deny them not to me before I die: Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?” or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.“ I have been asking God to give me only that which I need for that day. I love this because it doesn’t deprive me of acknowledging my needs, but it’s a call to trust that He will supply exactly what I need, one day at a time; not too much and not too little.
I am still terrified (I mean, come on, a human is exiting my body), excited and clueless all at the same time. However, my excitement to be on this journey alongside my Heavenly Father has brought so much hope and expectation for the intimacy that can only be cultivated in this specific season between me and God. I am sure it’ll be a rollercoaster ride of emotions but knowing that it will build upon my history with God anchors me.
If you have made it this far, thank you. And would greatly appreciate your prayers for us!