Third Trimester of Pregnancy
Yes, I am still pregnant.
I am officially 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant today. And since I am almost at the finish line or should I say, the actual starting line, I thought I’d give one last update!
My Body and My Baby are Getting Ready!
One of the most fascinating experiences about the third trimester is that I can definitely see that my body and baby are preparing for labor and delivery. It has blown my mind to personally experience God’s intentional design for each trimester and the necessity of all 40 weeks.
The past few weeks, I have noticed a visible difference in my belly. They say that the baby “drops” weeks or days before labor or even moments before, which means she is in a descending position. This definitely has placed a lot more pressure on my pelvic bone (hello lightning crotch!), which makes it difficult to walk for a long period of time and in a fast pace. One of the nurses told David at one of our appointments, “Imagine walking with a watermelon on your hip. Yeah, well that is what she is going through.” According to my ob-gyn, Kinsley is head down and sitting really low, which means, she is positioning herself for birth.
With the blessing of physical preparation comes the challenges as well. I would say the most painful physical change has been the constant swelling of my hands, also known as carpal tunnel syndrome. My manhands are feeling bruised, especially in the morning. And sometimes even removing the blanket to get up is painful. With that and the extra weight comes upper back and rib pain as well. This makes me respect and appreciate every mama out there that had to go through these things to bring a human being into the world!
It hasn’t been easy and I now get why people say the third trimester is the hardest! My body hasn’t felt like itself and this has definitely added an incentive to looking forward to her exit, I mean, her arrival!
Back to the Classroom
I know, “You never know until the baby comes.” Which I completely agree with. However, I think the more prepared you are, the more you can be flexible when the time comes. Or to be completely honest, have a peace of mind.
I have a huge passion for educating myself when it comes to having vision, cultivating healthy culture and flourishing for our family. And I believe it is incredibly beneficial for better communication and teamwork between David and I.
So, I’ve been reading and listening to a wide range of things regarding childbirth, parenting, marriage, etc. Some books I have been reading are Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin, Parenting by Paul Tripp and The Emotionally Healthy Woman by Geri Scazzero. Some podcasts I listen to are Five Minute Fatherhood by Jefferson Bethke and Jeremy Prior and Behind the Scenes by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff.
David also has been reading articles on how a first time dad can help and be more hands on with the mom and the baby as well. Learning things such as changing the diaper before handing the baby to be fed and how to swaddle and soothe the baby.
With the encouragement of some friends who gave birth at the same hospital, David and I decided that we would take a child-birthing class. Honestly, a lot of the information could be found in a book or on Youtube. However, for us, we felt that being in a classroom together and having the same philosophy of the birthing process was essential for being good teammates. I may be the one “birthing” the baby but it doesn’t mean that we don’t “labor” together in one way shape or form. And to be honest, seeing him download the contraction app and practicing different breathing techniques with me has tickled my wifey heart!
Preparing for Her Arrival
We are pretty much done washing all her clothes, blankets, burp cloth, etc. We are also done packing our hospital bags with both of our suitcases out and ready to go in our bedroom in case she comes early. Making sure we have ample space in them to bring back a lot of free goodies from the hospital - thank you for this tip mommy friends. We also strapped in the car seat last weekend.
Furthermore, a couple of weeks ago, I finally got to writing down our birth plan which includes four different sections: During labor, post delivery, postpartum and anything extra. Honestly, I feel like all of this is going to go out the window once the labor escalates, however, it was more for the sake of being on the same page with David in case we had to make quick decisions.
Thoughts on Motherhood
I have been reflecting on the idea and call of motherhood a lot. And I don’t necessarily plan to share it all here. However, with the drastic changes in lifestyle and relationships, etc. I want to highlight something specific that has helped me look forward to her presence in my life.
The world often sends the message that once you have a kid, your life is over. Like “Say goodbye to your energy, time, money and freedom!” No wonder people are having kids later and less. However, I believe that God says the opposite. Although it is true that it requires more energy, more time, more money, I do believe that having a child will bring about a freedom that cannot be experienced without one. What is that freedom? The freedom of being able to live for something and someone other than yourself.
I love my husband and there are sacrifices that need to be made in marriage. But to be honest, he isn’t needy. He isn’t in need of me to focus on his needs all the time. However, with a child, I will be her source of food, discipline, love, etc. As invasive of my own personal space and time as this sounds, sowing into a person in such close proximity sounds like God given accountability and sanctification.
What am I looking forward to the most? That I’ll have a reason to not think about myself. I am a selfish person who loves her time, her space and her ways. But any time I am given or forced with an opportunity for self-forgetfulness, it actually is a great thing. I actually flourish when I don’t have to obsess about myself.
Furthermore, I believe motherhood will actually make me more efficient and effective in the call of God over my life. I remember a mom once saying “With every child added to the family came a new anointing.” I am a firm believer that children are meant to enhance the plans of God and not rob from the call of God. I love this quote by Alicia Keys, “Motherhood gave me a stronger sense of clarity. I used to be less aware of how I wanted to spend my time and more influenced by other people. After I had kids, I felt like I had found my North Star. I was less wasteful; I worked more effectively.” To further explain my thoughts about this, I had a friend in seminary who had a kid. I figured it’d be so much harder to study. But she told me that although it is hard, it helped her to maximize her time well. She used to take six hours studying, with plenty of distractions but with only two hours given to her, she is focused and forced to maximize the two hours given.
I am sure that I will feel so much loss and grief of my old lifestyle during this change. But I also know that God is the Giver of good gifts and that this child is God’s gift to us and for us. Because God is not a joy kill but a killer of what kills true joy. With that said, I have recently sensed the Lord telling me that although there is a call to love, train and disciple our little one, there is also a freedom to simply enjoy her. I know that my vision and hope for motherhood will change and even be proven wrong at times. However, the gospel and the mission of God has provided a greater hope in motherhood than any message that the world has yet to convince me of!
We are feeling nervous about your arrival Kinsley! The waiting game is real. But one thing mom and dad are 100% sure of is that you are a gift, your timing is perfect and we pray and hope to steward the call to parent you in godliness and love the best way we can. See you soon!